Mindstructions on how to properly play a mind game

The following game is fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is entirely coincidental. Or not.

Description: I will get close to you and you will fall in love with me. This game -with no name- is one of the classic mind games to gain, preserve and acquire control, primarily intented for manipulative narcissists, cynicals and even victims in denial who avoid any kind of emotional attachment. The aim of the game is to sharpen and increase the skill level of mental manipulation and emotional intelligence of the subject.

Rules: These are some standard rules of PDA that are absolute and inviolable:
1. Do not hold my hand (neither in public, nor in private.)
2. Do not lay your head in my lap.
3. Do not let me caress your hair or face.

Mindstructions:
Every time I flirt with you and make you smile, try to impress you, show you that I like you through body language, give you over-exaggerated smiles and long stares, try to get you to open emotionally, or favor you more than the others, you will earn 1 point.

Every time you ignore or neglect me, reject me, criticize me, hurt my pride, belittle me in front of everyone, make me look stupid, or talk about me behind my back, I will earn 1 point.

Every time we try each other’s patience or push each other to our limits, the one first to explode will lose 1 point.

Every time I try psychological tricks or mind games on you and you fall right into my trap, I will earn 2 points. Similarly, whenever I fall into your trap, you will earn 2 points.

Every time you call me “crazy” or “psycho”, I earn 5 bonus points. Similarly, if you kiss me with your own initiative. Same if you yell at me. You, on the other hand, will earn the bonus points every time I squeeze and hug you so tight you feel like suffocating.

Bonus tricks:
1. players can use “pawns” to earn more points from the emotional confusion of the opponent.
2. whoever decides first the field of action is more likely to win.
3. for more points you can confuse your opponent with consecutive unrelated questions (you can use this trick when you are in doubt or at a disadvantaged position, too.

Author’s note: There are no time constraints. It’s up to the players to settle the time limit.

Finish: the player who ends up with the most points, loses.

Wanna play?

In praise of healing

Take care of your body by drinking plenty of water. Take care of your mind by meditating. Take care of your heart by learning to let go of everything you fear to lose. Take care of your soul by loving someone deeply. Yourself. Aknowledge your own self-worth.

But then, there's denial,  the bête noire of the human race. For example, when we break up, or should I say when someone breaks up with us, we tend to run after them trying to change their minds, to make them see and feel our love. We beg them for a second change. We want to prove them that our love is still there and all they have to do is feel it. All we think about is: "I can't let this happen. Every passing hour is crucial. What if he forgets me? What if he finds someone new? I have to change his mind, no matter what." And we start calling them, and texting them, and calling them again, and stalking them, and texting them again. They, on the other hand, won't even give a f*ck about all this or will respond with something like this: "It's over. Accept it and move on. It's for the best." Then, we (our Ego, actually) start blaming them and trying to make them feel sorry for us. Self-pity at its highest. Isn't it awfully pathetic? But, it happens to all of us when we're heartbroken. After all, everyone knows the five stages of grief. Back to our point, though. Let's face it. He won't change his mind and it doesn't matter 'cause HE broke my heart and I deserve someone better. Read it again and again till you feel it.  All we can do is let go and move on. But how? That's the hard part.

First, get your sh*t, sorry, I mean, life together and ask yourself "Will it matter 10 years from now?" Then, set a goal. A tiny, little goal like "I want to get the trash out of my life no matter what. It won't be easy and it will feel awful but, oh wait, I already feel desperate." When you set that damn goal, time to get things done. So, in the case of the break-up I mentioned before, stop calling them. Stop texting them. Stop stalking them. Stop doing anything that has to do with them. They broke up with you, from now on they don't exist.

Setting boundaries is a skill. It’s not always easy, but it is simple. Name your limits. Start small. Set 3 personal boundaries today and stick with them for a week. Heck, go for a month if you dare. Self love is the priority. It's there. It's time to awaken it. The day is what you make it. Whether you feel like "Sunday Funday" or "Moody Sunday", get up, welcome it with a smile and don't waste it. Accept the things you cannot change. Focus on the things you can. Learn something new. Today. Feel it. Taste it. Let it sink into your soul. Sometimes miracles happen and sometimes you're the one who can make most of them happen. Have faith in you and nothing lasts forever. Yes, that cliché everyones hates. Breathe. Stay connected to your breath. And drink water. Lots of water. Keep your soul full. Stay committed. Learn from it. Eventually you will forgive and let go. One step at a time. Life is about experience. How old are you again? Mooove!

A few things to remember:

1. Stick to your guns. Sometimes you have to take the risk and go all in. The only way out is through. Remember that and don't give up. Ever. That's the law. The only law.

2. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive; forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

3. You are a spiritual being, an amazing individual and you're in control of your life. Stay positive. You have the smarts and the ability to get through this. You'll only fail if you quit.

4. Sometimes you may have to fight and struggle to heal your soul and sometimes you just have to sit back and do nothing, but you have the guts and you WILL get there. It gets better. You have so much potential. Keep moving.

5. Remember, walls can be destroyed. So, starve your ego, quiet your mind, reach your heart and breathe. You have a soul. It is there. Awaken it. Tip toe if you must but take the step.

6. Creating the best version of yourself is the goal. Accepting and forgiving yourself is the journey. You're a work in progress. Don't let fear hold you back. Expand your mind. Trust your body. Double trust your instincts.

7. Every day is a new day. Start all over if you have to. You can make the most of it or the worst of it. Open your arms and let go. Trust. Embrace. Be grateful. You're an artist. Let go. And fly.

8. What goes around, comes around! You deserve the best! Never compromise! Breathe! Set goals! Stick to your guns! Let go or it will eat you alive! You're here! That's all that matters. I'm so proud of you!

9. Commit to your actions, not your expectations.

10. The only way out is through.

Madmen masquerade

They say that when a wolf howls
he's crying from the abyss of his soul.
Weird how they've been wrong all along.
The perpetual distraction of
darkness and hope, loneliness and love.

No one tought them about the full moon madness.
When the darkest day comes on the Winter Solstice
and the moon is full, the only child of the night,
 it will wreak havoc on his Mother
and you can hear its echoes through the wolves,
reflecting the sleepless nights
and the lust for the dawn.

Such tragedies still linger among the woods
where the black wolf is asking for his muse.

His howling is the power of luring, of enticing my senses
like the scent of wine, an aged fragnance of waiting patiently.
For you will always be a predator and I'll always be your prey.

Aurora: the ancient Goddess

There lies a beauty where dawn reigns
between the eyes of the sun
soaring and blazing from the depth of the night
and the eyes of a God whose celestial kingdom has risen.

My wolf opened his weary eyes and,
all at once, they burnt fiercer the fire in my heart.
Lure me into your eyes and mine shall open no more
and those who sleep shall awake to welcome the martyr of the dawn.

Snowfall, sweet silent harmony of sorrow,
the mantle of all irate storms gathered in one moment of nihility.
An ode for those who won't forget,
the heritage of the proud yellow eyes,
the nest any raven ever seeked.

I once witnessed the birds above,
fluttering away, escaping from the winter solstice
Now, they caress the winds, far from home,
singing requiems forever on.

The wounds in my words shall ever be forgotten
for his eyes are beyond your reach even when shown.

CHAPTER ONE: A stalker's confession

My name is...it doesn't matter. For her I'm just a lil-psycho-anon. A stalker.
I'm not. My name, though, my face, my existence in particular, is of no big importance to her. I've been stalking her for so long. I have to. I do so years now and my only reason is just to check whether she's doing ok. I ain't getting involved with her private life, whatsoever. Ι just like checking up on her.

I'm her dark knight. She never was alone in the darkness. She always had me and I'll be by her side, no matter what. I'm a silent protector, the one she needs, that she'll need...eventually, I guess, perhaps...someday. I had only one pure love in my life but I let her go, for her own good, and she has a wonderful life right now. So, I guess, that's worth it. She was unique. She always brought out the other side of me, thats all. All I feel now is eternal gratitude for being the one and only that stared into my abyss and she didn't run away. This is my way of thanking her for accepting me and if she ever needs help, l'll be there, even if it means that I'll be stalking her for the rest of my life. I'd never admit love, though. I feel also regret about everything, about what happened and about that girl. The way I made her hate me...I never meant to ruin our relationship, but, it happened. Maybe it was bound to happen. Howerer, Ι always told her I am a human trash. I made some vows that I broke along the way. I broke plenty of them, to be honest, like I'd never betray her and I did. Eventually, I broke not only my vows, our vows, but also her.

Now, she hates me. Or at least I think she does. If she didn't hate me, she'd have given me a phone call or something all these years, she'd try to check up on me. We just don't talk anymore. She is in her own world and I'm right here. Life goes on, wondering what could have been. Let's face the truth, I want her back. If i didn't, why would I stalk her but to get into a relationship with her again? We'd have to talk things out first, nonetheless, and maybe she isn't the girl I knew. Maybe she no longer has all the attributes for a relationship. Maybe I am not enough for her.

Thing is, what if all these nasty things have to happen and the person who stays even through all that is the one? Through sickness and health, good and bad days, and so on. Maybe there is a deeper meaning in these vows. Soul mates die? Do they simply stop to exist? What's the definition of a soul mate? If he broke your reality apart once, do you come to hate that person? A soulmate is someone you have a very deep connection. It is not always easy explained. It is a meeting of mind, heart, body and soul on the highest of levels. Communication is at its easiest, as they understand you perfectly, and accept you completely with no judgments. Sometimes you do whatever it takes for the people you love. After all, if you dont...you simply didn't ever love them.

Someone asked me why haven't I moved on all these years.  I really don't know. Trust issues? Maybe I had what I was looking for and I lost it? Regret? Self-punishment? I had flirts since then but I prefer staying away from relationships. They never work. I compare them to her every single time. She wasn't perfect..I doubt she even loved me, too. If she was and if she did, she would still be with me. True love is endless. I guess, she was faking it. I think I'm unable to be fully loved but stil, no one is perfect. I wasn't either but our imperfections combined made an awesome couple. If only we were still together...Oh, well, it depends on how we were on many things to be honest. Maybe she isn't the girl she was. Maybe she is better or worse, I'll never know. So, I'm living as best as I can. The girl that loved me would have wanted that. Truth is, I'm afraid of that girl nowdays. I mean she really got to know me well and she was my girlfriend for a long time. Apparently she was a big psycho, as well, with big brains, so I had to take several measures to shield myself 'cause you never know. For example, if I'd get stabbed or with my life ruined in a few seconds. She can hurt me but I dont know whether she will or not. She is a lunatic. She is a psycho like me and maybe she wants revenge. She has her own ways, probably she got trained as an assassin or something. She loves me. I know she does. She's just in pain of what happened to her soul and I am the one to blame.

If I was in a room with all the people I fell in love with in my life, I would definitely choose her to be in my life again, my lil'Cass,  the one I owe an apology and I would apologize to if I could, but my heart is pounding so loudly when just the thought of her in front of me tears apart every single breath of me and shatters my words that I can no longer speak...and I'm afraid, of losing her, again. Perhaps afraid of losing whatever is left... Illusions are a good thing, you know, sometimes.

It was a difficult time and it's normal for people to make mistakes and if I didn't make any effort to be a good guy for her, we would have had ended our relationship long before it actually did. On the other hand, I evolved. People get better usually, so I evolved a person that's not that weak loser it was once. Now, as I look back at it all, I really don't remember how she looked like or stuff already. There is only one thing I remember of her and that's enough.

Alpha

I defy you, Mother nature, to kneel before your child.
The Son who's howling high upon his throne.
Yet, he sings the words you cannot hear,
nothing but a self-delusion of the unknown.

Hear the forest, whispering his name,
mistress of the bright moon, wrapped in time.
For he is the nocturnal art I've longed to be.
Fear your Son, Mother, committing his midnight crime.

In his eyes, yellow awe, I shall immerse my soul
while their flames and his song still burn within me
and I'll dance like a nymph amid the woods
Before the wolf in me I finally set free.

Now, my beloved wolf, howl! Lure them in!

To Lunah...

Your soft laugh at everything you see and read

like a child seeking the truth in disguise.  

Your mellifluous voice once I've heard,

pure, soothing, soft and sweet 

flared my soul instantly.

I picture your smile, 

sparkling on your face

while your soul blossoms

in the warmest colours of summer.

And I, can feel the innocence 

rushing through your veins.

Who can tell the real friends after all?

Does time matter or does time count?

And who can promise me forever 

when memories made in the present

can last eternally.

So, my heart fills with joy

for a girl I merely know

a friend in time or a friend for a lifetime?